I have two daughters, both in their 20s. They are well-educated and happy. I adore them. My wife and I consider ourselves lucky to be their parents. We never pushed them toward goals or to succeed, but they are self-motivated and confident.

I have come to the conclusion that some of us are quite blessed. I’d like you to know that at least two parents in this world realize that we are, and that we count our blessings. I am older now, and my relationship with my daughters continues to mature and grow. Older age has its joys, too — some far deeper than I had ever imagined. — AN APPRECIATIVE FATHER IN OREGON

DEAR APPRECIATIVE FATHER: Thank you for writing an “upper” of a letter. Your daughters didn’t turn out so well by magic, and congratulations to you and your wife for what was obviously successful parenting. I would like to wish you a very happy Father’s Day and offer the same to fathers everywhere — birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive fathers, foster fathers, and those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent fathers.

DEAR ABBY: My son is married to a wonderful young woman, “Dana,” and they have a small baby. Dana suffered a brain injury years ago that left her somewhat developmentally delayed. Until the baby was born, it wasn’t much of an issue, but it is becoming apparent Dana is not always able to parent the child appropriately. (She will leave her on a table to get a diaper, doesn’t feed her according to schedule and doesn’t dress her warmly in cold weather.)

My son takes care of things when he’s home, but he works every day. When I think of my own daughter’s development, I see that Dana is operating at approximately a middle-teen level even though she’s 28. Can you advise what I can do to ensure my granddaughter is safe and secure without making my daughter-in-law feel inadequate? I don’t want to seem like a meddling M-I-L. — LOVES DANA

DEAR LOVES DANA: If Dana would leave the baby on a table while she went to get a diaper, would she also leave the baby in a tub while she went to answer a phone? If you haven’t voiced your concerns to your son, please do because your granddaughter could be seriously injured. Parenting classes might help your daughter-in-law, or involving a social worker or arranging for day care for the baby could also solve this problem.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 37 years is calling out another man’s name and moving her lips in her sleep. I don’t recognize the name and I believe it might be someone she works with. Should I be concerned? — SLEEPLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR SLEEPLESS: You should be curious, but sleep-talking is not necessarily indicative of romance. If you haven’t already, ask her who the man of her dreams is. She could be mumbling the name of an old boyfriend from high school or that of a beloved pet from childhood.

DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and my boyfriend and I have been together since high school. We have now decided to take our relationship to the next level by living together.

When I brought up the idea to my mother a few months ago, she was against it. She said if I do this it will change my relationship with her. My boyfriend and I are college graduates, have good jobs and are self-supporting. If things work out between us, we will most likely be getting married next year.

I am an only child and I don’t want to hurt my mother or have our relationship change, but I want to be able to live my own life. I would like her support, but don’t know how to tell her what we have decided or if it would be worth breaking the special bond between my mother and me. — ONLY CHILD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ONLY CHILD: Stop beating around the bush and tell your mother what your plans are. At 25, you are old enough — and this relationship has gone on long enough — that moving in together is a natural progression toward a permanent commitment. Her resistance is based on fear of what your independence from her will mean — to her.

However, if you truly can’t decide whether cutting the umbilical cord is worth it, then keep things as they are — and remain her little girl forever.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teenager who has liked this guy for a long time. We’ve been best friends forever, and I have liked him for two years. Recently he asked me out, and I was ecstatic — at first. I still like him, but every time I think about him or I’m around him, or anything about him comes up, I get this horrible nausea. I have actually vomited because of it. How can I like him but he makes me feel ill? Is there a way to remedy this? — LOVESICK IN PHOENIX

DEAR LOVESICK: Severe anxiety can cause someone to have the symptoms you have described. It’s not unlike the feeling one has when riding a roller coaster. You appear to be suffering from an extreme case of young love, and there is no medication that can cure it. Try to remain calm, and your symptoms should subside over time.

DEAR ABBY: Your column often provides helpful tips to your readers. May I suggest you remind those who are, or know someone who is, college-bound never to hesitate to apply for as many scholarships as possible — regardless of how small.

My local conservation association has been giving scholarships for 11 years. Some years we get no applicants! The amounts are $500 and $1,000. This money could pay for books, lab fees or go toward tuition, but we get few applicants. Many fraternal organizations also give out numerous small scholarships. These all add up and can help to reduce the college debt burden we hear so much about.

It’s never too soon to start. There are middle school and high school contests, too. NOW is the time for students to start their college funds with all the prizes and scholarships they can accumulate. — HELPING THE NEXT GENERATION

DEAR HELPING: I’m sure many families will thank you for this reminder. Readers, many small scholarships are available — and the thing to do is talk to your school counselor and research online or at your local library. Indeed, it’s never too soon to start looking.

Rosemary United Methodist Church Christian Education Director Lynn Benson poses with welcoming flowers at her desk at the church.

By Roger Bell

Lynn Benson is thrilled to be done with divinity school.

Benson, 50, the new Christian Education Director for Rosemary United Methodist Church in Roanoke Rapids, said the last three years were fruitful in terms of learning, but were a grind in terms of time and effort to earn the Masters in Divinity degree she received less than a month ago from Duke University.

Rosemary United Methodist Church Pastor Jim Bell, left, talks with Christian Education Director Lynn Benson, right, in his office.

“The reading load is just incredible,” Benson said of divinity school. “And along with that, the writing load is very heavy because the way you prove you’ve read what you say you’ve read is to write about it.”

Benson found the study rewarding, and certainly it moved her toward her ultimate goal, where she is now with Rosemary United, but taking time away from her husband, Marty and her two kids Lillie, now 24, and Gray, now 21, was tough, especially since she was a very “hands on” Mom.

It was Gray’s birth, Benson said, that started her on the path leading the Rocky Mount native to Roanoke Rapids.

Benson has a Business Administration degree from East Carolina University and was working for Hardee’s corporate office in the accounting and marketing department when her son was born. She decided to be a stay-at-home mother for the children.

She also wanted her kids to know God, and in 1994 she joined the Bible Study Fellowship, which allows people from age 2 on up to study in various classes.

Benson eventually became leader of the Bible study and from there, she heard the call to serve God five years ago.

“My husband and I began to pray over it,” Benson said.

Prayer led to her decision to attend Duke to pursue the Divinity degree. The former number cruncher found the entire experience quite surprising, from the technology advances that eliminated the need for standing in line for class registration to the total lack of numbers in her studies.

“I don’t think I added two numbers together the whole time I was at Duke,” Benson said.

Beginning grad school at 47 was not easy, but Benson was happy to do it and felt lucky to stay with a friend in Durham periodically to save the commute.

The entire time, Benson knew she was working herself into position to do what God had called her to do — become a full-time Christian educator. Entering the chapel for graduation May 11, she said, was enormously satisfying.

“If you heard a loud scream May 11,” Benson said. “That was me entering the Duke Chapel.”

Two weeks after graduating, Benson started with Rosemary United Methodist. She said the community has been exceptionally welcoming, recently pointing out flowers on her desk sent by those happy to have her in the Valley.

“She’s a delightful person with a lot of enthusiasm,” said Rosemary United Pastor Jim Bell. “She already is a tremendous asset to this church and to this congregation.”

I know people are prone to do odd things when under stress, but this has me concerned. During the evening, I went to retrieve an item from my handbag. Carrie was with me, and mentioned she loved my purse and then announced she was “stealing it.” I realized it wasn’t a joke when she dumped the contents of my bag on the kitchen counter in front of several family members. She then handed me $10 and put my purse in her car!

I was flabbergasted and didn’t know how to react. Although I had mentioned that I bought the bag at a thrift store for less than Carrie gave me, I liked it because it is a vintage item. I don’t think a replacement will easily be found.

While I was always excited to see Carrie before, I am now leery of seeing her again for fear of a repeat of what she did. Am I wrong to feel offended? Do I have any hope of getting my purse back? — STUPEFIED IN NEW YORK

DEAR STUPEFIED: Carrie’s behavior was outrageous and may indicate that she has emotional problems that should be addressed.

That you would be offended is understandable. That you would be so shocked you didn’t immediately object is also understandable. The only hope of getting your purse back would be to pay this woman a visit, return her money and tell her it’s time to return it. If you’re up to the challenge, she may agree. But don’t count on it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating “Wayne” for about a year. Everything is wonderful, but my problem is he is stingy when it comes to issuing a compliment. I’ll get dressed up — makeup, hair, the whole thing — and ask him what he thinks, and his response is always, “It’s OK. You always look beautiful to me, so you don’t have to dress up.”

Maybe I shouldn’t complain about this, but sometimes I feel Wayne would say I looked good if I were sick and vomiting into a toilet. It’s not like I want him to say I look awful; I just want more of a response than what I’m getting. Any ideas on how to approach this? — ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL? IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL: Yes. Approach your boyfriend directly. Tell him there is something you need from him that you’re not getting — and that is acknowledgment when you make a special effort. Explain that while you’re complimented he thinks you’re always beautiful, you feel let down by his reaction. If he cares about your feelings, he may be a little more generous.

DEAR ABBY: How and when do I tell the guy I just started seeing that I have bipolar disorder? I don’t want to make him think I’m crazy. On the other hand, I really like him and hope our relationship will grow into something more. I don’t want to start it off with a lie. — NOT REALLY CRAZY IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR NOT REALLY CRAZY: You shouldn’t start off a relationship with a lie. However, health information of any sort is personal, and it need not be revealed until you become friendly enough that there is a reason to know. Once you become good friends, you should disclose any information that is pertinent, including your diagnosis and the fact that it is being managed60

Hiring a professional to do your wedding day makeup can help guarantee a flawless face.

Have you ever had your makeup professionally applied? Apart from a trial application at a department store makeup counter, many women likely have no experience with professional makeup artists. While one may not hire a makeup artist for everyday events, a wedding is an occasion that often warrants the expertise of a professional.

Many brides-to-be and their attendants book the services of a hairstylist to achieve beautiful wedding day hair but may not find it necessary to enlist the services of a makeup artist, figuring they can apply makeup effectively enough. But a makeup artist has a wealth of information in makeup application, as well as knowledge of what looks best under the lights and flashes of a camera. For those spending several thousand dollars on professional photography, an investment in a makeup artist can help ensure the faces smiling back from the photos look their best.

Hiring a professional who understands how makeup reads in a photograph and how it looks in everyday light can help any bride-to-be put her best face forward. It also takes away some of the stress of readying for the wedding day. Many do-it-yourself brides do not use the right products and can end up looking washed out in photographs. Brides, especially those who typically do not wear a lot of makeup, may not know how much to apply, resulting in a lackluster finished product. Here’s why the makeup artist can prove invaluable.

• He or she can pinpoint your best features and play them up. As an unbiased observer, the makeup artist will not see your flaws but rather will look at your best assets.

• A makeup artist knows that the bride wants to see herself and not the makeup. He or she is creating the best version of the bride.

• Makeup artists use tricks of the trade to enhance or camouflage certain features. They have an intimate knowledge of highlighting and shading they are capable of, through applying makeup, sculpting the face.

• A professional will know the products available and be familiar with which formulations work best on all types of skin. If you have oily or dry skin, they can work to minimize any appearances of flaws. Also, a makeup artist will have many products and tools at the ready, reducing your need to shop prior to your wedding for all of the makeup essentials.

• You get a trial run with a makeup artist. Sitting down with a professional gives you the opportunity to try on a few different looks and decide on which you prefer. Do-it-yourself brides sometimes leave makeup decisions to the last minute and really do not have a game plan the day of the wedding.

• A professional can advise on the right tone. A common mistake made by do-it-yourselfers is choosing the wrong shade of foundation. Brides may end up looking like a pasty vampire or someone who has spent too much time in the sun. A makeup artist can help find the right shade and blend it in so there are no apparent lines from the face to the neck and decolletage.

• A makeup artist can get those tricky false lashes to look natural. Lush, full lashes really get eyes noticed, but many women are unsure of just how to apply false lashes. Lashes may be part of the makeup artist’s insider tricks, and he or she can apply them so no one knows they are not real.

Hiring a makeup artist to apply your wedding day look could be a smart investment, particularly if you want to stand out and be noticed on your big day.

Your readers — young and old — should know the U.S. Administration on Aging estimates as many as 5 million seniors are abused or neglected each year in the United States.

Elder abuse can be physical, emotional, financial and sexual. It also includes people who are neglected. Elders who are abused are twice as likely to be hospitalized, four times as likely to go into nursing homes and three times as likely to die.

Elder abuse can be prevented if everyone would learn the warning signs and report it to Adult Protective Services or the police if they suspect it is happening. — MARY TWOMEY, MSW, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA-IRVINE

DEAR READERS: I was dismayed to learn 90 percent of elder abuse happens at the hands of a family member or a caregiver. The descriptions of the kinds of treatment these elderly adults experience are frightening, and frankly, not suitable for readers of all ages. That is why I am urging readers to get more information on this important subject by visiting
www.ncea.aoa.gov.

We can all stop this scourge if we know what to look for and are willing to speak up when we see the warning signs. There, but for the grace of God, go you and I.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to a wonderful man, “Ted,” who was 20 years my senior. In social situations his adult children would introduce me as “Dad’s wife” or “Ted’s wife.” Sadly, my husband passed away, and his children no longer know how to refer to me socially.

I was recently asked by Ted’s children how I wished to be introduced, but I’m not sure. I don’t think “stepmother” is appropriate because I’m only four to seven years older than they are. Do you have any ideas as to what might be appropriate? — “MARILYN” IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR “MARILYN”: You could be introduced as “Dad’s widow,” “my late father’s wife” or simply by your name.

DEAR ABBY: Some friends are in the process of adopting two children internationally. Early on, they had a garage sale with the proceeds going toward the adoption. I was excited for them and wanted to help. However, this was soon followed by more requests — for yard sale donations, two more garage sales, the “opportunity” to buy expensive coffee online, a fundraising dinner, and then a solicitation for me and others to provide a “virtual shower” of plane ticket money.

Each time I am notified about another fundraiser, I feel less and less charitable. I have never been asked for money for the same thing in so many different ways in such a short time. While I’m thrilled with their desire to adopt, I am increasingly disgusted and put off by their continued pleas for money. Am I wrong to be so upset about this? — A LITTLE TICKED OFF

DEAR TICKED OFF: It appears your “friends” are taking advantage of your generosity. It will continue for only as long as you permit it. Because the requests for help are continuous, are you absolutely sure this couple is really in the middle of the adoption process and not using the money for some other purpose? Before donating anything else, you should find out.

Although wheat flour needs to be avoided when adopting a gluten-free diet, many other grains can still be enjoyed.

Many people are adopting gluten-free diets for a variety of reasons. While such a diet means passing on foods that contain wheat protein, such as certain breads, crusts and baked goods, it doesn’t mean giving up on grains entirely. Many grains are acceptable for those adhering to a gluten-free diet, and such grains can help fill the void left by avoiding wheat products.

Gluten-free foods are required for people who have Celiac disease, an autoimmune condition of the small intestines that is triggered by the consumption of wheat protein. Celiac disease can cause damage to the lining of the small intestines, which results in a decreased absorption of nutrients. This can cause vitamin deficiencies that deprive the body and brain of necessary nourishment.

While people with Celiac disease have to avoid foods that contain gluten, many more people choose to remove gluten from their diets. This includes people with gluten allergies or sensitivities that are not as severe as Celiac disease but can cause some gastrointestinal discomfort. The relationship between gluten and certain behavioral problems in children and adults also has been studied. In a paper titled “Developmental Disorders and Dairy Products, Grains, Gluten and Other Proteins,” researchers at the Bamford-Lahey Children’s Foundation found that sensitivity to proteins in both dairy and wheat has been associated with a number of neurological and behavioral disorders in groups of adults and children.

To avoid gluten, a person has to remove wheat products, barley, spelt, rye, and triticale from his or her diet. However, there are many other foods that can be eaten. Plus, flours made from grinding other grains can be used in place of wheat flour in recipes. The finished products may just have less of the doughy or elastic consistency that is a hallmark of gluten. Here are some grains men and women on gluten-free diets can still enjoy.

• Oats: Though they are traditionally gluten-free, oats are often processed on the same equipment that processes other grains. Therefore, there may be some cross-contamination. Oats that are certified gluten-free can be more costly.

• Buckwheat: Despite the name, buckwheat is not related to regular wheat and is not exactly a grain. It is a relation of rhubarb. In its whole form it can take the place of pasta. In its roasted form, buckwheat takes on a nutty flavor.

• Millet: This is a seeded plant used for grain and cereal production. Millet is typically sold in pet stores as a treat for birds. Millet is generally flavorless and can be grainy. It can be mixed with other gluten-free flours.

• Quinoa: This is not a grass plant or cereal grain but is actually related to leafy vegetables. Quinoa is often eaten like you would eat rice or pasta, but it can also be baked into bread and cakes.

• Montina: This is made from Indian rice grass and can be milled into flour or combined with other flours in a baking blend. Montina bakes up into a springy texture, which makes it popular in breads.

• Rice: Many people avoiding gluten turn to rice as an alternative. Rice flour can be substituted for wheat flour in many recipes. Rice can also create a sense of fullness that comes with eating a starchy grain.

• Corn: Cornmeal can be used in baked goods. However, it will offer a grainy texture.

• Amaranth: This is a tiny, ancient grain. It is a complete protein and has more iron than most grains.

People following a reduced or gluten-free diet can enjoy a number of other alternatives in their cooking.

The last few visits were not so great. We caught Mom snooping in our bedroom and our home office. When we confronted her, she got upset and stormed out of the room in tears. I have asked her to respect our privacy, but her response is she — as the mother — is the one who deserves respect.

We recently had some renovations done to the house that included locks on our bedroom and office doors. When neither of us are home, the doors stay locked. Nothing was said about it during Mom’s last visit, but last week we received a note from her telling us not to come for our usual summer visit. I tried to call her, but she won’t answer.

Today I talked with my aunt (Mom’s sister), who told me Mom is furious over the locks. My aunt also expressed disappointment in me for “shutting Mom out.” I don’t understand how I could be in the wrong, but it seems my whole family feels I am. Please advise. — IN A JAM IN ST. PETE

DEAR IN A JAM: Although your mother deserves respect, it is hard to respect someone who goes through one’s bedroom and office after having been asked not to. You may be her son, but you are also an adult and have the right to some privacy. What Mom is doing is the equivalent of throwing a tantrum. You were not shutting her out; you were drawing the line. Regardless of what your aunt said, you owe no one an apology.

Let’s hope this storm blows over soon. And as to your summer holiday plans, an Alaskan cruise might be a lovely change from the humidity of Florida and the steam coming from wherever your mother lives.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother was very poor, but she was generous with what she had. As a child, I noticed most of the gifts she received were regifted to others. At first, it upset me because I spent a lot of time choosing a “perfect” gift for her. Then I realized she was enjoying the gift twice. She loved receiving it, but it gave her even more pleasure to pass it on to someone else to enjoy when she couldn’t afford to buy a present on her limited income.

I get so tired of people whining about “regifting.” Instead of being happy that someone gave them something, people worry about how much was spent. (I’m willing to bet the real reason for the upset is that the regift can’t be returned or exchanged.) People who don’t want to receive regifts should let the givers know so they won’t waste their generosity on them in the future. — THE JOY OF GIVING

DEAR JOY: I see the issue differently, because I suspect some complainers may have confused the monetary value of the item with how much they — the recipients — are valued in the relationship. As you point out — and I agree — it really IS the spirit in which a gift is given that counts.

I answered that I didn’t have a preference; that I loved both. So how blessed am I, that on Thursday/June 27, for the Northampton County Chamber of Commerce’s Annual Dinner at the Northampton County Cultural and Wellness Center, I have been presented with the opportunity to “speak about my writing;” for the title of the presentation is “Encouragement and Community Leadership,” which fits perfectly my purpose in writing to you each and every week, my purpose to lead my community with the power of encouragement!

Yes, it is a great honor for me to be able to proclaim to the wonderful people of Northampton County just how wonderful they are by reminding them how often I have bragged about them in my columns.

Why, my very first column — dated Oct. 6, 2010, titled “In good company at the Broadnax Diner in Seaboard” — featured one of my favorite Northampton County families — the Lassiters!

And I quote: “The proprietors, Mr. and Mrs. Lassiter, are some of the finest folks you will ever meet, soft spoken and gentle-spirited. They are backed by a small but powerful corps of ladies, who, when operating at full speed, run like a well-oiled machine.”

I bragged about the food: “They are “in the zone,” and there is rhythm to their madness: Whether taking orders by phone or across the counter, or prepping, cooking or serving the fried chicken, collards, cabbage, creamed potatoes, black-eyed peas, country ham and chitterlings … OK, I’ll pass on the chitterlings, but everything, and I mean everything on the menu will make you want to ‘slap your mama’ (a Northampton colloquialism).”

And then I bragged about my sweet tooth: “You ultimately, will find yourself sitting a while, sipping your sweet iced tea, while letting the memory of that sweet potato jack sink slowly into your being.”

And nothing I told you then was a stretch, particularly the part about the sweet potato jack. And just to be sure, I forced myself to confirm my original thoughts by completing another taste test! As a very special treat, the other day, my wonderful husband surprised me with a special package in the fridge of two — one sweet potato and one apple jack — which I had no trouble sampling … in one sitting!

Do you recall another one of my favorite Northampton County couples: The Floyds and their family of baby boxwoods? I told you about them in April of 2011 in a piece called “Boxwoods bring back fond memories.”

Let’s visit them again.

“As you travel along Highway 305 from Jackson towards Rich Square, the lenient temperaments emanating from the potted boxwoods (and the Floyds) magnetically pull you into their fold. You see the deep hues of green, you touch the velvety textures of green, you hear the tranquil nothingness of green and you smell well, you smell the green.”

The Floyds are so obviously living their dream: “The hovering Mama and Papa visibly wear their joy — not as a mask to be put on and then removed at will — it is their visage. It is as evident as the flecks of sunshine filtering through the tops of the pines towards the orderly, synchronized plants — like toy soldiers — perfectly aligned because the large number of plants and the lengthy growing process demand it. There are English, American and Japanese boxwoods — the common varieties as well as several hybrids which naturally form perfect spheres or angular pyramids — hybrids which have been developed by Mr. Floyd.”

They are rarely far from my mind, as the 75 boxwood “soldiers” which surround our home, were originally nurtured and cared for by them. Especially, the special “hybrid” boxwood which Mr. Floyd was so generous to give me. Its unique pyramidal growth pattern reminds me love comes in all shapes and sizes!

The only problem I foresee in addressing the Chamber that evening is there won’t be enough time for me to get it all in. I have so much to say. I have so much to say because they are doing such a wonderful job of living their lives, running their businesses, being neighborly and friendly and generous! All I am doing is reminding them that within themselves, the power of story and truth, hard work, diligence and commitment lives strong.

And thank them for allowing me to tell their stories, these — almost — past three years!

Donna Clements is a professional writer and motivator.  You may reach Donna by phoning 252-326-9194 or emailing dc@donnaclements.com.

When participating in water sports like rafting, adults and children alike should wear flotation devices at all times.

Outdoor enthusiasts typically cannot wait to get outside and make the most of a beautiful day, But in their haste to enjoy the great outdoors, they can easily overlook safety precautions that protect them from potential hazards.

Though it’s easy to get excited about a sunny day, it’s important for outdoor enthusiasts to take safety seriously. No matter your activity, always bring adequate sunscreen to protect your skin from the sun, and remember to bring enough water to stay hydrated throughout the day. In addition to packing sunscreen and water, outdoor enthusiasts can employ various additional safety methods depending on which activity they choose to enjoy.

Cycling

Cyclists must always be on alert for those with whom they are sharing the road. While many motorists respect cyclists, there are some who see cyclists as a nuisance, and such motorists may drive recklessly around cyclists in an attempt to scare them off the road. Cyclists are oftentimes at the mercy of motorists, so it pays to stay as attentive as possible. Never listen to an MP3 player or another music player while riding a bike. Such a distraction could prove deadly if it takes your attention away from the road. Alertness is important when cycling, as are the following precautionary measures:

• Always wear a helmet and reflective clothing that makes it easy for motorists to see you.

• Obey the traffic laws.

• Always ride with traffic.

• Inspect your bicycle and address any mechanical issues before each ride.

Hiking

When the weather permits, few activities combine the benefits of physical activity with the aesthetic appeal of nature as well as hiking does. Hikers should never hike on poorly developed trails or trails that are too difficult for them to handle, and they should have at least a basic understanding of the symptoms of altitude sickness. Always share your route with friends or family members before embarking on a hiking trip. This protects you if you should get lost or injured and you need a rescue team to find you. Hikers should also pack the following supplies before hitting the trails:

• Compass

• Flashlight and extra batteries

• Whistle and signal mirror

• Map of the park that includes the trails you plan to hike

• Waterproof matches

• First aid kit

• Blanket

Inline skating and skateboarding

Inline skating and skateboarding are popular activities for adults and children alike. But even though you may associate such activities with your childhood, that does not mean the risk of injury is insignificant. In fact, even seasoned skateboarders and veteran inline skaters have suffered broken bones or head injuries while skateboarding or skating. Proper attire is essential for skaters and skateboarders hoping to prevent injury, so be sure to wear the following gear the next time you hit the half-pipe or go skating by the boardwalk:

• Helmet

• Knee pads

• Wrist guards

• Elbow pads

Water sports

Water attracts the sun, so it’s imperative that anyone planning to spend ample time on or around the water take steps to protect their skin. Wear appropriate clothing and apply sunscreen with a minimum sun protection factor of 15.

Never take to the water after you have consumed alcohol. Alcohol can dull your senses, making you less likely to recognize a dangerous situation should one present itself.

If you plan on entering the water, always enter feet first and do your best to avoid swimming alone. When you employ the buddy system while swimming, you are ensuring there is someone there to help you should you begin to struggle or to alert lifeguards or other safety personnel should something go awry.

If you to plan to fish on a boat, let your loved ones staying behind on land know where you plan to fish so they can share this information with authorities if your boat has problems or you don’t return on time. While on the boat, always wear a flotation device and make sure the boat is not running as you board and dismount.

The great outdoors can be enjoyed throughout the year. But outdoor enthusiasts will have a much better time if they take the necessary steps to reduce their risk of injury.

My problem is my brother is headed down the same road, and I don’t know how to help him. I don’t have the money to send him to rehab, and he doesn’t think he has a problem. He has lost his job, has no vehicle and is losing what friends he has left.

I don’t want to turn my back on him or lose him the way I lost my husband. I know he needs rehab or therapy, but with the lack of funds I don’t know where to turn. Furthermore, how do I explain this to my 9- and 10-year-old sons? The most influential man in their life is setting a terrible example. — CAN’T TURN AWAY FROM MY BROTHER

DEAR CAN’T TURN AWAY: If seeing your husband die from an overdose wasn’t enough to convince your brother it was time to get into a substance abuse program, then nothing you can do will. There are two things that are more important in your life than he is, and those are your two sons. A narcotics addict destroying his life is a very poor role model.

Your boys are old enough to know how dangerous drugs are and that they caused the premature death of their father. Do not permit them to be in the presence of anyone who is abusing drugs and spiraling downward, or they will grow into adolescence thinking it is normal. Your brother is the only person who can help himself get back on his feet, no matter how much you might wish it were otherwise.

DEAR ABBY: I don’t understand divorced women and the restrictions they put on their exes about what they can and can’t do with their children. (“You can’t let him go to the pool party; he might drown”; “She can’t visit with your mother; she has a cat”; “Don’t make him rake leaves; that’s YOUR job!”) Instead, they should be grateful these fathers are active parts of their children’s lives. Too many fathers simply walk away. Unless the dad is actively harming the child, they have no right to dictate what their ex does with his kids on his time.

Remember, ladies, you made a baby with him. He is their dad and he has every right to parent as he sees fit, even if it differs from your own philosophy. And dads, don’t let your ex try to tell you that you are a bad parent because you let your kid go roller skating and she broke her arm. It is not your fault. Things like that happen all the time, even to kids whose parents are still together. So stand up for your right to be a real dad! — UNSYMPATHETIC MOM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOM: If I were you, I’d keep my head down and not get caught in the crossfire. It’s not that you lack sympathy, but you obviously don’t relate to the women you hear complain. While some of them may seem controlling or hyper-protective, others may have valid concerns about their children’s safety while they’re with Dad.